The Young Jeremiah Chonicles - Thai Correspondance
Keeping to the theme I now to present to you my emails from a decade ago.
I touched upon Thailand earlier in the blog, last year some time. When I was traveling through Thailand I had a very extensive mailing list of friends whom I kept updated regarding my travels.
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| Trekking in Thailand |
So here it is, with some photos. And notes where appropriate.
It gets better after the first few. Somewhat. Welcome to my unstructured mind!
It gets better after the first few. Somewhat. Welcome to my unstructured mind!
Oh, please excuse the somewhat childish nature of some of this. I was 20, quite naive, and with a marked fondness for exclamation points.
So stand down grammar Nazis, I am aware.
6/9/2003
Hey everyone, Jerry here, from sunny sunny Thailand.
Sorry that I didn’t write earlier mom. Funny story actually, wrote a very long winded email(like this one) a couple of days ago, but in my rush to get my train I accidentally deleted the entire thing, whoops! Anyway... Thailand...
It’s great, completely different from anything I've ever seen or ever done. I arrived in Bangkok completely exhausted but got a pretty cheap room in what looked like someone’s house! It was lovely though, Bangkok is completely overwhelming though, the hundreds of strange smells, the hustle, the colour, the language (which I’m terrible at) and those damn tuk tuk drivers. I've come to the conclusion that tuk tuk drivers are the greatest masterminds in the galaxy, when it comes to ripping someone off. You're just walking down the street and tens of them pull up next to you wondering where you want to go, when I arrived in Ayutthaya, one of them offered me a tour the following day, he produced a notebook with recommendations in many languages, from tourists and the like, I ended up accepting, and also ended up in embarrassing situations having to pay for distinctly Japanese oriented tourist traps (wow! my photo on a tiny plate!) (This was after threatening to jump off an elephant during an enforced ride. Around a field, through a planted planned 'jungle' down a concrete ramp into a pond. As I was being charged by the hour, I made some gestures, spoke some monosyllabic words and stood to jump. This convinced my Mahout to turn back post haste.)
Sorry that I didn’t write earlier mom. Funny story actually, wrote a very long winded email(like this one) a couple of days ago, but in my rush to get my train I accidentally deleted the entire thing, whoops! Anyway... Thailand...
It’s great, completely different from anything I've ever seen or ever done. I arrived in Bangkok completely exhausted but got a pretty cheap room in what looked like someone’s house! It was lovely though, Bangkok is completely overwhelming though, the hundreds of strange smells, the hustle, the colour, the language (which I’m terrible at) and those damn tuk tuk drivers. I've come to the conclusion that tuk tuk drivers are the greatest masterminds in the galaxy, when it comes to ripping someone off. You're just walking down the street and tens of them pull up next to you wondering where you want to go, when I arrived in Ayutthaya, one of them offered me a tour the following day, he produced a notebook with recommendations in many languages, from tourists and the like, I ended up accepting, and also ended up in embarrassing situations having to pay for distinctly Japanese oriented tourist traps (wow! my photo on a tiny plate!) (This was after threatening to jump off an elephant during an enforced ride. Around a field, through a planted planned 'jungle' down a concrete ramp into a pond. As I was being charged by the hour, I made some gestures, spoke some monosyllabic words and stood to jump. This convinced my Mahout to turn back post haste.)
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| This was somewhere in Ayutthaya |
Saw a muay Thai fight in Bangkok arena, very bizarre,
almost ritualistic, with snake charming music that changes to suit the action
(live music) + Thai boxer dancing, which is pretty funny really. (This happened before the paragraph before! 20 year old Jeremiah is a confusing fellow) In Ayutthaya
met a great couple who taught me so much about saving my money, which I
needed, having spent a fifth of my budget in three days. Don't worry Mom, I'm
fine, I've learned from the best, I'll be on that plane.
Speaking of transport,
the trains are fantastic, the most laid back experience yet, especially since
you get to take off your shoes and socks (obligatory. The seats may have been hard,
it may have been 8 hours long, but with all the windows open, a breeze in ones
face, and sales people boarding at each food with cheap, hot, delicious food
(dunno what it was though) + the amazing countryside, it didn’t drag at all.
Planning to rent a bike today to see Sukothai ruins, after that, tomorrow it’s
off the Chaing Mai for hill trekking, and then its south to the beaches. Which
I look forward to... oh yeah wats are everywhere, and Buddhas dot the landscape. It’s both serene and chaotic, and while sometimes kinda
lonely, I always meet people, although those damn cricketer things, and other
noisy bugs take some getting used to.
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| This was also in Ayyuthaya. Again. Jeremiah mark 2 forgot to bring it up |
Food's fantastic, if insanely spicy, (our
max spiciness is just a .5 on the Thai spicy scale) and one needs to be
adventurous to eat what can look rather inedible. But food is everywhere;
people cycle about on bicycles with cookers attached, while steaming pots are
all over the place, even in the middle of highways. Yesterday rode in a tuk tuk
that seemed homemade, a motorbike with a tray like cage welded to the front,
with me looking forward, he ripped me off of course, but it was pretty
exhilarating, flying up the wrong lane of traffic towards onrushing cars,
easily forgetting you’re not flying of your own accord.
Anyway, much more to tell... when I get home, write to ye again, oh yeah, Aleda, (I had been tasked by a girl named Aleda to get her some thai fishing waders, here in 2013, I can't for the life of me remember if I ever did) I haven’t spotted those pants yet... I'll keep looking though
I miss ye all
see ye in 19 days
Jerry
Anyway, much more to tell... when I get home, write to ye again, oh yeah, Aleda, (I had been tasked by a girl named Aleda to get her some thai fishing waders, here in 2013, I can't for the life of me remember if I ever did) I haven’t spotted those pants yet... I'll keep looking though
I miss ye all
see ye in 19 days
Jerry
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| Sukhothai |
I had been in the town of Sukhothai when I had written the above. Nice little river side town. I had gotten totally lost looking for my hostel, they'd moved the bus station to the opposite side of town in the time since the map had been written. For some inscrutable reason I didn't find this 'walking by the motorway, fearful of snakes, middle of the night' adventure worthy of record.
I did indeed rent a bike the following day, a joyful experience, I had forgotten cycling, and this frantic pedal in the monsoon rains, about the half ruined Wats of Thailand began a decade long love affair with bicycles for me. So that was worthwhile.
The ruins were flooded with what appeared to be Japanese students thrusting survey's into ones face. One of the kids had a large unwieldy aeroboard model of the park, it had a line of switches along its bottom edge, and when pushed an LED would light up somewhere on the model, corresponding with one of the temples. The student seemed as baffled by the point of this display as I was.
Things Jeremiah circa 2003 forgot to mention in the above.
- Startled by a rather large snake in a temple in Ayuthaya, I was trying to avoid a particularly enthusiastic postcard seller, so had leapt over the boundary wall of an old temple. I landed next to said snake, he gyrated and hissed his way away into the undergrowth, a shouted and ran in the opposite direction. He was quite big.
- Same temple had a dead preserved man in a glass box. No idea who he was.
- The Wat tour Jeremiah briefly alluded to in Ayuthaya was actually quite extensive. A full day with my own Thai couple and their tuk tuk. The wife was quite attentive, bringing me mandarins and bananas, fixing down the straps on my bag if they were un done. Took in a large and bewildering selection of temples and Buddhas.
All quite unclear above, but quite impressive considering I'd never been out of Europe before, let alone on my own.
Oh. Heres a fun game. Lets see how many full stops 2003 Jeremiah uses. (Hint: Not many)
10/9/2003
Hey everyone,
I'm in Chaing mai, just got back from an amazing three days trekking with the hill tribes of northern Thailand, it was literally unreal, words cannot do it justice, so I'm not gonna tell ye about it, ever.....
Nah, ok here goes, deep breath...
My group was me and 5 other German speakers, which isn't as bad as it sounds as they all had pretty good English, and some very very good English, anyway, started by driving for hours and hours and hours, till we reached a Buddhist cave where monks used to pray and meditate and stuff, used as a wat it was you see, anyway after exploring around in the dark for a while with lots and lots of bats, spiders, and stalactites, pun pun, our guide, let us off on our own in a smaller cave, I of course immediately crawled into the smallest tunnel I could find and daringly discovered the monks garbage area! Ah the things I'm learning about Buddhism, anyway, after lunch, we drove for more hours in to the jungle, then suddenly got out and started walking through the jungle itself on our way for the Karen hill tribe village,
I'm in Chaing mai, just got back from an amazing three days trekking with the hill tribes of northern Thailand, it was literally unreal, words cannot do it justice, so I'm not gonna tell ye about it, ever.....
Nah, ok here goes, deep breath...
My group was me and 5 other German speakers, which isn't as bad as it sounds as they all had pretty good English, and some very very good English, anyway, started by driving for hours and hours and hours, till we reached a Buddhist cave where monks used to pray and meditate and stuff, used as a wat it was you see, anyway after exploring around in the dark for a while with lots and lots of bats, spiders, and stalactites, pun pun, our guide, let us off on our own in a smaller cave, I of course immediately crawled into the smallest tunnel I could find and daringly discovered the monks garbage area! Ah the things I'm learning about Buddhism, anyway, after lunch, we drove for more hours in to the jungle, then suddenly got out and started walking through the jungle itself on our way for the Karen hill tribe village,
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| On the way to the village |
these people our completely
interdependent, constructing everything they need themselves, to them there is
no money, or time, for they have no calendars or clocks, they move by seasons
and the sun, it was truly a life affirming experience, meeting and interacting
with these people, I played games with the children for a while, learning their
difficult to remember names and generally trying to communicate. It was so
great; we learned all about the tribe from pun pun, I'll fill you in later.
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| Karen Village |
Anyway, we slept in the village after an amazingly delicious meal and a shower
in the river, and the next morning our elephants arrived, I learned how to talk
to mine via guttural sounds and barks, controlling its directions from my
perch on her neck.
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| Elephant trekking |
Then we walked for six hours through mountainous jungle
terrain, it lashed rain all this time, and it was quite a slog up an endless
mountain path, but at the top we opened the banana leave parcels pun pun had
given us and found fried rice, as usual I had 3 portions more than everyone
else and we set out again.
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| Jungle Lunch |
The rain which had stopped for lunch began again in
earnest, but not before one of our party was almost bitten by a green mamba,
the world’s most poisonous snake, as we lined up to photograph it, luckily pun
pun dived to the rescue just as its head darted forward, one bite kills in 3
hours, in the jungle you can go nowhere in three hours, so we were lucky.
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| The rafting camp |
We
arrived at the rafting camp completely exhausted and ate heartily once again,
the next day, today, we set out on bamboo rafts, that is lots of bamboo sticks
tied together with reeds, long they were, and we swiftly cruised down the
jungle river, now bloated with water, I of course led the way by standing
precariously on the raft, the others had to join in as we surfed crazily down
the river.
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| The old man at the camp |
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| Some of the rafts |
After another brief walk during which the sole of my sandal came
off, we boarded a car, got lunch of delish noodles, and headed for an utterly
stupendous waterfall under which we showered, then we headed for the highest
point in Thailand, where rain such as I have never seen dominated. Then we
started the long trip home, I've left lots out, but you'll see the photos, and you know how I enjoy
talking.
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| Rice fields |
Miss ye all as usual,
take care, talk to ye soon
Jerry
Most of my photos seem to have been taken on that trek. Which was indeed quite an eye opening experience for little old me. This time I didn't really miss too much out. Our guide regaled us with legends and contemporary trials that first night at the village while my Germanic compatriots strummed at a guitar in the fire light.
I mentioned that the sole of my sandal had come off, what I neglected to bring up was that as I stopped to fix whatever was going on, I was swarmed by stinging army ants. Maybe I was too embarrassed.
14/09/2003
Hello again from much too sunny Thailand,
Can't talk long, this place is expensive,
I'm sitting in an Internet cafe at the bottom of a rather dank alley, its sign, rather incongruously reads EMAIL, NEW COM. NEW SCENE-FAST but thankfully enough this place seems to be the cheapest in town, at only one baht a minute, which is a big difference to up the road where its 20 baht a minute. But then again in chaing mai it was 15 bath an hour so....
I guess I've finally entered that great tourist trap, shoulda resisted the cheese but... hmmm cheese... (???) anyway, I'm on the southern island of koh sumui, and man am I tired, everything here is so expensive, I see sale signs for trousers with 99 baht written under them, 99 baht!>! Are they CRAZY! Where I come from (I assume I must mean Northern Thailand here) trousers cannot be more than 40 baht, and that’s pushing it, thank god I didn't come here first. My hotel too is crazily expensive, 450 baht a night, in chaing mai I paid 80 baht, but still, I am on top of the beach,(I was actually staying in my own little wooden beach house) but I'm stretching to the limits of my budget ( for those not in the know 1 euro is equal to 42 baht, now I know the prices I've mentioned may seem low, but this is Thailand we're talking about, and as a well travelled visitor I know a rip off when I see one) Actually I'm only gonna stay here two nights, then it’s back to Bangkok. To cheaper accommodation.
Can't talk long, this place is expensive,
I'm sitting in an Internet cafe at the bottom of a rather dank alley, its sign, rather incongruously reads EMAIL, NEW COM. NEW SCENE-FAST but thankfully enough this place seems to be the cheapest in town, at only one baht a minute, which is a big difference to up the road where its 20 baht a minute. But then again in chaing mai it was 15 bath an hour so....
I guess I've finally entered that great tourist trap, shoulda resisted the cheese but... hmmm cheese... (???) anyway, I'm on the southern island of koh sumui, and man am I tired, everything here is so expensive, I see sale signs for trousers with 99 baht written under them, 99 baht!>! Are they CRAZY! Where I come from (I assume I must mean Northern Thailand here) trousers cannot be more than 40 baht, and that’s pushing it, thank god I didn't come here first. My hotel too is crazily expensive, 450 baht a night, in chaing mai I paid 80 baht, but still, I am on top of the beach,(I was actually staying in my own little wooden beach house) but I'm stretching to the limits of my budget ( for those not in the know 1 euro is equal to 42 baht, now I know the prices I've mentioned may seem low, but this is Thailand we're talking about, and as a well travelled visitor I know a rip off when I see one) Actually I'm only gonna stay here two nights, then it’s back to Bangkok. To cheaper accommodation.
Actually, the whole trip down here
was a bit of a rip off, Two days ago I boarded the night train in Chaing Mai at
6 30 pm, it got into Bangkok at 12 45 the next morning, the train itself was
reasonable enough, but the rogue train staff, geez. In the morning (the early
morning) I was woken by cries of 'wake wake! Tea or coffee, tea or coffee?'
assuming I was being treated to a complimentary breakfast, I said coffee, after
my cold breakfast of eggs and tiny tiny pieces of ham (seems to be a general
ham shortage here) to which only myself and a Japanese tourist had succumbed, I
was told I had to hand over 100 baht! 100 BAHT! crazy, breakfasts cost 15
everywhere else, then in Bangkok, I thought in error that I needed to go to wai
yai station to go south, wrong, for after 45 minutes in a taxi, I caught
another, realizing that the provincial market/station was not where I wanted to
be, this taxi brought me back to where I started. My own fault I guess. Then on
that night's night train I took a glass of orange juice being handed around on trays
to everyone in the compartment, I shoulda guessed, after it was drunk, 30 baht.
anyway, I was awoken that morning at 6 by another fat Thai lady, wake up, di di
di wake up, she cried, for about an hour, and then when leaving the bus was
shepherded along with all the tourists through the expensive stop overs and
'charming' craft shops, including a sort of pen with seats in it into which
loads of hawkers are unleashed, including a cowboy guy, 'hey you like me, like
me, but modern, yes? Modern'(due to my fedora) 'where you staying?' GAHHH!
Sorry, anyway, eventually after a boat ride I arrive here, and instead of
sleeping off this ratty mood I've developed I email all ye people, man I really
could use something to eat.
Sorry, tired, hungry, ripped off, not a good day...Aleda, I'll only get you those pants if they're cheap cos I don't wanna be stuck here, Ciara, you see, I'm on a beach Island and not one mention of the beautiful calm seas of palm tree covered beached deep in silky white sands, or at least thats what the brochure said. Change of plans too, I'm heading home just a little earlier, thats right, one week earlier, on Friday actually. Need a chance to relax after this holiday. Now there’s a strange comment. Anyway, I'll email again, and I'll drink plenty of coffee before hand, make it more upbeat....damn rip-off Thais!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only kidding
See y'all sooner then ye'd hoped
Jerry
I dunno about you guys, but I definably prefer pissed off 2003 Jerry's style. Its somehow more detailed.
And, later that same day:
What another one? On the same day?!?!
I lay on the beach thinking of the impression I made in the last email, and first of all I want to apologise for it, here I am in Thailand and all I seem to have done is complain about how things aren't going my way, sorry about that, and to Aleda too, by what I said you'd think she was demanding I get those sacred trousers for her, when she really isn't bothered about it in the slightest, and I am for some reason, strange.
Anyway, the beach is beautiful, the sand and water are warm, but there is one problem I really didn't expect, hawkers, all over the beach, one cannot even lie down in the sun for five minutes without one trying to sell you a necklace, a tattoo, watches, pineapples, over expensive baggy trousers, sunglasses, and various other legit and illicit substances. Anyway, I know that’s more complaints from yours truly, I have a good mind to just flee to Bangkok, of kanchaburi tomorrow and stay there for the rest of the week, probably my best bet since, I HATE BEACH LIFE, always have, never could stand just lying there for hours on end, give me a good tidal wave, (this was written before the 2004 tsunami, and never before have I considered editing one of my emails.) or exotic animals and cultures any day. Anyway,
Talk to ye for khao san rd
jerry
I lay on the beach thinking of the impression I made in the last email, and first of all I want to apologise for it, here I am in Thailand and all I seem to have done is complain about how things aren't going my way, sorry about that, and to Aleda too, by what I said you'd think she was demanding I get those sacred trousers for her, when she really isn't bothered about it in the slightest, and I am for some reason, strange.
Anyway, the beach is beautiful, the sand and water are warm, but there is one problem I really didn't expect, hawkers, all over the beach, one cannot even lie down in the sun for five minutes without one trying to sell you a necklace, a tattoo, watches, pineapples, over expensive baggy trousers, sunglasses, and various other legit and illicit substances. Anyway, I know that’s more complaints from yours truly, I have a good mind to just flee to Bangkok, of kanchaburi tomorrow and stay there for the rest of the week, probably my best bet since, I HATE BEACH LIFE, always have, never could stand just lying there for hours on end, give me a good tidal wave, (this was written before the 2004 tsunami, and never before have I considered editing one of my emails.) or exotic animals and cultures any day. Anyway,
Talk to ye for khao san rd
jerry
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| Khao San Rd |
18/09/2013
I'm in Bangkok again, on khao san rd, the more famous of the roads in Thailand for no other reason than that there is a lot of tourist accommodation here, and as per usual for us westerners; our part becomes 'the most important part'. Its covered in market stalls from about one a clock in the day, which sells all manner of goods of no real use to anyone other than visitors to Thailand, it’s a tourist bazaar, where the only Thais one sees are the shop assistants, and hello takes the place of sawaat dii khrap/kha, its insanely colourful, with street level dominated by stalls of every description, with tuk tuks, in their blue and red paraphernalia, and meter cabs butting horns for passengers, I just want to walk, but they just can't understand why someone would do that, and boy do they make that misunderstanding known, for this is the land of the crazier than normal tuk tuk driver (and they're usually certifiable) tricks include offering to buy your hat??!!? following you for streets crying 'misitah! TUK TUK!' or just trying to start up a general conversation about where you're going, where you're staying and what you've seen. Once they've heard I've been here for almost three weeks they usually move on to fresher, more naive prey, naive at least to the pricing vagrancies of Thai tuk tuks.
Above street level, the street resembles almost a jungle canopy of sorts,
vine like cables of every function (functions of which I am unaware) create a
mass of interconnecting lines above the pavements, while huge billboards that
almost fill the breadth of the street, and usually touch their corresponding
billboards on the opposite side, advertise beer, internet cafes, hotels,
massage, MacDonald’s, and everything else one probably doesn’t need but would
feel good to buy. It’s a chaotic place to be fornsure, and surprising.
I left koh samui a day after that last email, the taxi guy in his 'meter taxi' (although the meter consisted of a laminated sheet with grossly inflated prices) invited me aboard, I told him where I wanted to go, the port, 500 baht was his reply, I told him I wasn't paying such a fee, and got out of the taxi, he was pretty shocked at this, and lowered the fee to 250, I just kept walking, he lowered it to 150, by this time I'd jumped on one of the pickup trucks the Thai people use to get around, 50 baht was the fee, I was fairly pleased I have to say.
The ferry was bliss, far from the fishing boat that had put me ashore
on the island, this was akin to a luxury cruise, at least to me, after so long
travelling in third class, plush red reclining chairs and air con greeted me,
plus an odd Thai movie on the cinema screen, it was pretty much paradise.
Anyway I got from the port town of surat thani (50 km from the port) to surat
thani train station (20 km from surat thani) by public bus for 5 baht. On the night train I had a great conversation with the Thai
train ticket guy/ bed maker, as we both struggled to make sense of each other’s
language, it was a pretty cool conversation, I was the only foreigner on the
train. We got to Bangkok at 5am the next morning and I avoided the tuk tuks to get
the bus to kho san rd, or at least near. Thai Buses are pretty crazy, the doors
are in the middle of the compartment, and the engine in a metal coffin like
compartment in the middle of the floor next to the driver, they're pretty wide
open vehicles, and the conductor continually runs in and out of the bus,
sometimes running way over to the other side of the road and into buildings, in
order to tell people that the bus has arrived. The bus I road at sunrise
yesterday morning must have been a particularly elderly vehicle, it didn’t stop
for me, merely slowing slightly as I ran alongside, grabbed a yellow railing
and pulled myself and my baggage aboard.
From riding on the bus I can understand why the driver wasn’t eager to stop, I don't think it could
have started again, from the sounds emitting from that metal coffin I gathered
that the poor machine was having a coronary, it sounded like someone was trying
to drive at 100 mph in first gear, after hitting the engines a couple of times
with a sledge hammer, pretty noisy it was indeed. I took the first hostel I
found and after a preliminary exploration crashed on my bed (tastefully
decorated with sheets and pillow cushions that had a map of south east Asia
reproduced on them) I didn’t do much yesterday, just sorta wandered around, bumped
into a Canadian couple, and indulged in a few pints with them, but I was
wrecked and went to bed at about six, not that I slept much.
Well, as ye can gather, the locations have dimmed somewhat, here I am giving bit by bit descriptions of rather grimy tourist streets. (oh yeah, right at the back of the khao san rd. down an alley, and around an old trash heap, I found a clearing with a Thai market in it, not a westerner in sight,'cept me of course, I thought it pretty strange and cool to find a proper cheap fully Thai shopping place almost in the middle of the biggest tourist trap in Bangkok) and of course buses. Hell, I'm even going as far as to say what time I'm going to sleep at, as long as it keeps ye entertained.
The trip is winding down pretty
quick, and it’s really at its end as I fly out tomorrow, this is probably the
last Thai message ye get from me for some time, maybe again in a couple of
years. Hope ye've enjoyed these updates, they've cost enough grrrr... no only
kiddin, it’s good to stay in contact with home, and I've really had a blast
these last few weeks, so if anyone asks, yes, I completely wholeheartedly
recommend Thailand, and ye must all do it, on pain of summary executions. The
foods great (although I confess I was feeling a bit queasy today so I took the
plunge of western food, a burger king of all things) the people amazingly
friendly (that’s that famous Thai smile) And the country miraculously
beautiful, while inexpensive enough to see a lot with relatively little money.
I've probably learned something from this trip; I guess I'll figure out what
when I get back.... Anyway, now I'm only looking forward to getting home, and
developing those fantastic, artistic, prize worthy 125 photographs I so
skilfully took, hopefully better than last time anyway. Ooh yeah, and I got an
amazing tan (classified as farmers tan I think)
See ye all in, well, just a couple of days
unless the plane crashes
lets hope that’s not prophetic. For my last words to be prophetic would genuinely be totally out of character
See ye soon
Jerry
See ye all in, well, just a couple of days
unless the plane crashes
lets hope that’s not prophetic. For my last words to be prophetic would genuinely be totally out of character
See ye soon
Jerry
Nothing to add here. Except the real reason I was heading home was because I was suddenly very very lonely, and judging myself because of it. I had not realised what this was yet, travel fatigue, all I needed to do was rest up, meet some people, and I would have been hot to trot. Alas, I was young and scared. So off home to start UCC I went.
Thats not the end of it though.
Just when ye thought it was save to go back on the net......
Actually the awesome shock that could have been is slightly diminished due to the time difference, but okey dokey, here we go...
Actually the awesome shock that could have been is slightly diminished due to the time difference, but okey dokey, here we go...
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| A final day to wander Bangkok |
Today was a class today, it started off with yours truly feeling a bit woozy, kinda under the weather, but about 2 o clock I composed myself and set off to explore this bustling Asian metropolis, and what sights I discovered.
Headed down to the grand palace, well it was the grand palace, but now it performs more of a ceremonial function, anyway, the large complex of buildings is completely surrounded by a white Asian defensive wall, with lots of spoon like shapes sticking outta the top, as ye know well,(Do ye?) anyway, after almost being killed in the insanely naturalistic traffic system I found my way in, first off the fee, 200 baht, pretty heavy dudes and dudettes, but I could take it, I went first to the Wat area, and boy was it flamboyant, those guys back in the gothic period,
when they named flamboyant gothic, well, flamboyant, definitely hadn’t been to Thailand, these things are almost garish in their crazed mix of colour, light , shade, shape, etc, they throw in clutches of tiny mirrors the size of a peanut over an entire structure, millions of tiny mirrors, so that it glitters in the sunlight, the amount of carving almost reaches a sort of planal zone, where there is so much stuff, your mind almost cancels it out and sees a flat red surface, instead of a red surface made up of millions of minutely carved buddhas. Statues litter the place, be they gigantic guardian creatures with ghoulish expressions, multicoloured faces and dark eyes, or slender feminine creatures with golden figures, ox bow legs, and graceful wings.
Huge creatures
stand sentinel over each portico, and the perimeter of the area is covered,
under which, lies a massive painting, covering the entire outer wall, telling
of a Thai translation of a sacred Indian text, the shivirana, I think, It’s a
pretty strange story too, with monkey men doing battle with Rama 1, first king
of the chakri dynasty, and gigantic monkey men thrown in, using their tails to
bridge gaps over waterfalls and the like. every hair on these 'monkeys' is
painted in, and the style is like some overly ambitious comic book, with
hundreds of figures, trees, cities, and events in each panel, all vividly
coloured. In the middle of this area, next to the exacting model of Angor Wat,
stands a mad size gold and red wihaan, inside which lies the emerald Buddha,
which is actually pretty tiny, and actually made of jade.
I left the Wat area soon after, for the rest of the palace,
including a meeting hall, with gold detailing of a gold I've never seen, it was
ludicrously bright, almost neon; very unnatural. Then I saw the style known as 'Thai with western clothing', which was Italian renaissance with Thai finishings,
mainly in the roofs, which tapered off into gold grace. inside this, oddly, was
a gun museum, included in which, were the guns of the Thai kings, one pistol
had on its side, in plain English, written in not so plain gold filigree, ' the
gun of the king of Siam' which I thought was pretty funny, a bit like bushes
jacket that has 'commander in chief' written on it, but I guess rama 6 deserved
his title.
Next up was a museum of paraphernalia, yep; it’s a boring as it sounds. Two floors of tiny little Buddha images, in his many states, wait I lie, one floor of Buddha’s, thousands and thousands of them all lined up like chess pieces made of every material imaginable. in another room were parts that had fallen off the palace outside, bits of wood, and old flamboyant bits, in the next room, some wooden columns, and a broken stair case, and in another, the tools the refubishers used to do up the palace in the 80s, hammers, nails they didn’t use. Screwdrivers, paint, brushes, you name it, sorta a diy store museum, it’s probably what a museum will look like in about 1000 years, so therefore it’s ahead of its time.
Upstairs was the 'paraphernalia offered to the emerald Buddha' section, these included nice forks, a mirror, cups, curtains, kettles, (one was made of an ostrich egg) napkins, and all manner of stuff, all nicely displayed in glass cabinets. Another room had the clothes screen used by rama 3, which was nice, in this room too was a photograph of wax versions of all the kings on a stage, pretty creepy, + loads of pictures of the omnipresent king bhumiphol (rama 9). The king’s old throne was in another room, which looked pretty damn uncomfortable, and in another lay a part of roofing they used while they were repairing the original piece. All in all it was a hoarders museum (they're worse then you mom) I'm surprised they didn’t have a bus coupon display, or a pocket lint section, then again, different cultures, it’s just the Thais there looked just as disinterested as I.
The thing that shocked me most about the royal palaces was how recent it all is, only about 300 years ago, Rama 1 started the Chakri dynasty, and all these insanely extravagant buildings, seemingly from a different age, with different cultures, and traditions, all that seem far away from our current cultural computer and machine fascination, actually still have almost wet paint they're so recent. The king is revered here, unlike any European king has been revered since the middle ages, you can't stand on a bank note, without 'standing on the kings head' and thus grievously insulting the people. It’s really very amazing, what with all those gigantic posters in the middle of every roundabout, of the king or queen, and their appearances before and after the news every day, opening some facility or other, stranger still because this is a constitutional monarchy, I guess it’s because, that only came about relatively recently, with the kings blessing, unlike Britain, with Cromwell. Wasn't it he?
Anyway, enough history, I also visited the kings massive funeral home, and outside the palace grounds I went to the founding pillars of the city, apparently, one was laid by Rama 1 to mark where the new capital city of Bangkok would be, it was the trunk of a tree which it was cut down to mark victory over the Burmese; anyway, Rama 2 stuck another beside it, and Rama 3 stuck a wat on top of them, so that’s whats there, pretty interesting, like all things of that nature it, naturally enough, grants wishes. While entering, a woman tried to sell me small birds, but then said she'd cook them out back, I declined.
Next up was wat pho, but first a tuk tuk driver, who didn't seem to want to give me a ride, yet still started talking to me, told me to go in the wrong direction, I knew he was wrong but didn't want to be offensive, so went the long way around the block, dunno why he did that. In wat pho was the biggest reclining Buddha in Thailand, he sits in a big long building, sorry, lies in big long building, and on the soles of this thickly set fellows feet are a whole lot of the gestures of Buddha in mother of pearl. Interesting and pretty crazy all the same.
Next I went up the street and down an alley, and took a river ferry across to the other side of the vine filled river, a blissful way to travel here in Bangkok, and only 2 baht, which noone can complain about. At the other side I found myself in a market area with no foreigners, and no English speaking Thais. It was amazing, one finally felt as though one were in a different place, with nothing to hang on to but the big plastic KFC general guy on the market street. I pointed to what I wanted, bartered for a price and munched away, best way to eat in the world, and the friendliest people, I was trying to open a small plastic bag of sauce by poking it with wooden skewers I had picked up, when a Thai lady, noticing my difficulty, skewered it with a fork releasing the precious juices, then they took a cardboard box and flattened it for me on a step nearby, as a seat which I quickly took, all this on the market street, amidst the hustle of daily Bangkok life. Remarkable people.
I have so much time for them. As long as they don't have tuk tuks. After eating my fill in the inexpensive market I headed back across the river, and almost upon my hotel I found my way blocked by six o clock rush hour traffic onto a freeway that I had to cross, I managed the first have by merely dashing across, clutching my hat, as openings in the deadly motorised river appeared, as one does, however the next path was pretty damn scary to consider. I was losing my cool when suddenly a tuk tuk driver, at the far side of the traffic noticed me, hoping for a quick buck, he swerved across the three lanes of traffic, momentarily making them break, seeing my chance I dashed at this break in the tempest opening directly in front of me, shouting my thanks at the astonished tuk tuk driver, I reached the other side, as my prospective chauffeur was completely cut off by onrushing traffic. Finally a tuk tuk had come in handy.
That’s my day, and home tomorrow, (and no money so thank god)
see y'all
Jerry
Next up was a museum of paraphernalia, yep; it’s a boring as it sounds. Two floors of tiny little Buddha images, in his many states, wait I lie, one floor of Buddha’s, thousands and thousands of them all lined up like chess pieces made of every material imaginable. in another room were parts that had fallen off the palace outside, bits of wood, and old flamboyant bits, in the next room, some wooden columns, and a broken stair case, and in another, the tools the refubishers used to do up the palace in the 80s, hammers, nails they didn’t use. Screwdrivers, paint, brushes, you name it, sorta a diy store museum, it’s probably what a museum will look like in about 1000 years, so therefore it’s ahead of its time.
Upstairs was the 'paraphernalia offered to the emerald Buddha' section, these included nice forks, a mirror, cups, curtains, kettles, (one was made of an ostrich egg) napkins, and all manner of stuff, all nicely displayed in glass cabinets. Another room had the clothes screen used by rama 3, which was nice, in this room too was a photograph of wax versions of all the kings on a stage, pretty creepy, + loads of pictures of the omnipresent king bhumiphol (rama 9). The king’s old throne was in another room, which looked pretty damn uncomfortable, and in another lay a part of roofing they used while they were repairing the original piece. All in all it was a hoarders museum (they're worse then you mom) I'm surprised they didn’t have a bus coupon display, or a pocket lint section, then again, different cultures, it’s just the Thais there looked just as disinterested as I.
The thing that shocked me most about the royal palaces was how recent it all is, only about 300 years ago, Rama 1 started the Chakri dynasty, and all these insanely extravagant buildings, seemingly from a different age, with different cultures, and traditions, all that seem far away from our current cultural computer and machine fascination, actually still have almost wet paint they're so recent. The king is revered here, unlike any European king has been revered since the middle ages, you can't stand on a bank note, without 'standing on the kings head' and thus grievously insulting the people. It’s really very amazing, what with all those gigantic posters in the middle of every roundabout, of the king or queen, and their appearances before and after the news every day, opening some facility or other, stranger still because this is a constitutional monarchy, I guess it’s because, that only came about relatively recently, with the kings blessing, unlike Britain, with Cromwell. Wasn't it he?
Anyway, enough history, I also visited the kings massive funeral home, and outside the palace grounds I went to the founding pillars of the city, apparently, one was laid by Rama 1 to mark where the new capital city of Bangkok would be, it was the trunk of a tree which it was cut down to mark victory over the Burmese; anyway, Rama 2 stuck another beside it, and Rama 3 stuck a wat on top of them, so that’s whats there, pretty interesting, like all things of that nature it, naturally enough, grants wishes. While entering, a woman tried to sell me small birds, but then said she'd cook them out back, I declined.
Next up was wat pho, but first a tuk tuk driver, who didn't seem to want to give me a ride, yet still started talking to me, told me to go in the wrong direction, I knew he was wrong but didn't want to be offensive, so went the long way around the block, dunno why he did that. In wat pho was the biggest reclining Buddha in Thailand, he sits in a big long building, sorry, lies in big long building, and on the soles of this thickly set fellows feet are a whole lot of the gestures of Buddha in mother of pearl. Interesting and pretty crazy all the same.
Next I went up the street and down an alley, and took a river ferry across to the other side of the vine filled river, a blissful way to travel here in Bangkok, and only 2 baht, which noone can complain about. At the other side I found myself in a market area with no foreigners, and no English speaking Thais. It was amazing, one finally felt as though one were in a different place, with nothing to hang on to but the big plastic KFC general guy on the market street. I pointed to what I wanted, bartered for a price and munched away, best way to eat in the world, and the friendliest people, I was trying to open a small plastic bag of sauce by poking it with wooden skewers I had picked up, when a Thai lady, noticing my difficulty, skewered it with a fork releasing the precious juices, then they took a cardboard box and flattened it for me on a step nearby, as a seat which I quickly took, all this on the market street, amidst the hustle of daily Bangkok life. Remarkable people.
I have so much time for them. As long as they don't have tuk tuks. After eating my fill in the inexpensive market I headed back across the river, and almost upon my hotel I found my way blocked by six o clock rush hour traffic onto a freeway that I had to cross, I managed the first have by merely dashing across, clutching my hat, as openings in the deadly motorised river appeared, as one does, however the next path was pretty damn scary to consider. I was losing my cool when suddenly a tuk tuk driver, at the far side of the traffic noticed me, hoping for a quick buck, he swerved across the three lanes of traffic, momentarily making them break, seeing my chance I dashed at this break in the tempest opening directly in front of me, shouting my thanks at the astonished tuk tuk driver, I reached the other side, as my prospective chauffeur was completely cut off by onrushing traffic. Finally a tuk tuk had come in handy.
That’s my day, and home tomorrow, (and no money so thank god)
see y'all
Jerry
Next there followed an email about the American war on Terror, I'd seen a press conference on the television somewhere or other and had gotten very very angry at Bush and such. The only reason I'm not going to reproduce it here is that its quite embarrassing. In the years since I've become far more informed. I retain mainly the same opinion of the American efforts in the middle East, but lets just say, my approach has become somewhat more detailed.
Anyway. One final note of correspondence before I flew back across the world.
19/9/2003
Greetings from Thai international airport! (Not that sunny here)
All over Thailand I've heard this song, 'in a chom cha chom chai, cha cha chom chom chai chai' and so forth , it’s really popular right, it’s the number one hit in Thailand, and anyway, in the railway station in Bangkok there was a live free concert going on,(as well as several people dressed as fruit, at one stage an old lady started to rugby tackle one of em)
All over Thailand I've heard this song, 'in a chom cha chom chai, cha cha chom chom chai chai' and so forth , it’s really popular right, it’s the number one hit in Thailand, and anyway, in the railway station in Bangkok there was a live free concert going on,(as well as several people dressed as fruit, at one stage an old lady started to rugby tackle one of em)
 |
| Fruit People |
It was pretty crazy, the
schedule screen was turned into a giant music video screen, the whole thing was
being broadcast live all over Thailand, it was pretty bizarre, as I have no
idea why that was going on, there was lots of stands selling icorno, (a corn
flavoured drink) pot noodle type things, and loads of other stuff, after
fooling around with the fruit men for a while, I went to watch the concert,
suddenly a noticed a large camera pointed my way, and looked up to see yours
truly giant sized on the massive screen (people just love the fedora) Laughing
at this, I couldn’t believe when the band, Thailand’s favourites (they're
pretty good) started calling out for me to go up to the stage,(with a bow to my
adoring crowd) and so there I was, LIVE ACROSS THAILAND, anyway, the female lead
started chatting away to me, asking of I was married, and joking with the
crowd, I too managed to get some laughs outta them, the whole thing was
accompanied by Dave letterman style riffs to each joke, (I actually got a real
live badoom doom chi on live television) Anyway, the lead singer, (the Thai
equivalent of Britney Spears) said I was the most handsome foreigner she'd ever
seen, asking if all Irish men were that good looking, I joked back saying I was
a special case, while flattering her in the process, then while I was walking
away, I spun on my heel pulled my camera out and got a close up band shot, the
crowd burst into laughter, and the band, and I chuckled all the way to my train.
 |
| Bedazzled and Confused |
How cool is that! and I thought it'd be a dull afternoon instead I joked with
Thai rock stars KERAZY! Got 9 hours to wait until my plane now, so this'll probably be the last message, unless I somehow
manage an audience with the king or save the world or something...
See you soon
Jerry
 |
| Me and a fruit |
So thats that then. Hopefully this will prove entertaining and amusing to some soul out there. For my Middle Eastern trip the following year I wrote far more regularly and far more comprehensively. Its not so bad actually. The coming months will see that added to this travel archive here.
Til then.
See youse
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